See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Barcelona, that’s where the first footage was published on archive.org, of cigars, also where I did my first lines of cocaine. My boyfriend at the time had a history of drugs, he tried it, didn’t even think of the possibility of overdosing. Passed out almost, passed out probably, throwing up. He got them illegally for me, we are made to feel immortal, aliens, but we are human. We are stuck in a system we think we are almost better of death than alive, that’s why I kept smoking weed too, every day, the only way I could find a release from the daily routine. Haven’t smoked weed for one or two weeks? Don’t know exactly, am aware of the day and time don’t worry. But on New Year’s Evening ended up on the roof like a cat in heat, that’s how I ended up in placement of custody, against myself, because I was so dosed up from medication from my own doctor I kept running away, scared of everything. No, never was in my mind to jump, just wanted to get away from everything and couldn’t find my way back inside to my father, waved at him while I saw the police walk to him and behind me was the fire brigade already there to get me off, taken to the cell, that’s how I got here, which now, I can comprehend, at the time I had so much Tramadol in my system I couldn’t even get it clear in my mind. The doctor prescribes it right? But was I ever really sick, were we all ever really sick? What’s being “mentally” sick?

Gustav Elijah Åhr was a beautiful person, listen to his memorial, and especially his ex-girlfriend Emma, his mother, Liza, the way they speak about him.

Alright, to get back to my sleeping medication, and medication for everyone, and how we all became too dependent on them as a whole species, and how the food and medicine industry recommends them for us on a global level, and perhaps makes us more confused. Myself, can’t fall asleep without sleeping medication anymore. 

My story has a connection to Gustav Elijah Åhr, who passed on 15 November 2018 due to an overdose of drugs, and Julian Assange, who to my knowledge is still locked up in the embassy of Ecuador in London, for publishing government material of the USA. Not that personally I do know them, but their stories affect me on a personal level, as we can all relate to them, I believe, but perhaps the words aren’t there yet, because of the grief we have that stems from greed, so it’s easier to silence people and lock them away, never to be heard of again, dose them with medication, make them your puppets, silence those who will not follow your self-made laws.

In my teenage years my doctor recommended anxiety and sleeping medication. The switch from primary school to high school was hard for me. Not Intellectually, but more so being in a big group of people, never liked that, too much noise, sounds around me. As my upbringing was in a small town of Veenendaal (born in Wageningen), part of the bible belt, found this out recently actually, as my age right now is twenty-five. Don’t like talking about myself but you will understand to see the connection.

Alright, Gustav Elijah Åhr, started listening to his music. Why? Could recognize himself in me, he died of an overdose, ruled by the police as an “accidental” overdose, his drugs were laced with fentanyl, lots of Xanax. His “friend” Bexey, George Mejer, from London, filmed him thereafter, thought he was sleeping. Myself have been to Scotland for my ex-boyfriend, he was the one who “showed” me how to do lines of cocaine too. Is this normal in London, England, the UK? Didn’t hear many good stories about drugs, seems like candy there. Oh, the artist Lil Xan, Diego from Mexico, remember a video with his management where he seemed full of drugs and drooling (Diego it’s not embarrassing we can relate to you), where he wanted to talk about his father being a crack addict, and his management took his phone away. They’ll just show you the parts that suit them. The skittles we used to eat are almost replaced by drugs it seems, we are walking around like little puppets (still, some of us), Xan is also a drug btw, Xanax, one of the drugs Åhr passed from.

To whom it may concern, dear everyone, on Earth,


My full story. Here it is, from the Netherlands. And it all started with a cat that said, Long Johnson, and how I ended up here with a man named Jan-Vier. That’s Jan-Four in the Netherlands, not Jan-One, Jan-Two, Jan-Three, but Four. He was taken by the ambulance, and I just got to know him. He isn’t coming back the doctors said, in Tiel, so that makes me upset, as any reasonable person might understand, as I just have tried to teach him Dutch, the language in my country, and now I don’t know what happened to him, but he seemed nice, and he came all the way from Uganda, Africa. Where did our privacy go? Don’t have money to get Microsoft Word, so shall write my story here. Yeah, 

We are all taken from our privacy, talk to your online buddy, Cortana? Turned her off, she’s fake, not real, also: Stephan Hawking said “Jerry”, and why is Daniel Daniel Hernandez in prison? But choose the leaders who drape themselves in gold. Everyone wants to know what I am doing, so here I will share my story.

Sometimes when I put my glasses off, I appreciate the beauty of the world more, once I put them on again. Also, Freddie Mercury was made fun of because his teeth, but the space between his teeth gave him a better range, but put our children in braces because “it looks better”, another one bites the dust sure is true, survival of the fittest or survival of the fastest, who cares, people are dying over here and you can all have your greed or share and talk to another human being instead of locking them up without having a decent conversation. Freddie was liked for his music, but embarrassed to say where he came from. His real name was Farrokh Bulsara but you might like Freddie Mercury better because of the nuclear factories. He came from Stone Town, Zanzibar. You sure might have liked him, and tried to impersonate him with autotuned songs, because what? He “entertained” you, made you “laugh”? Oh wait, if people don’t laugh, use a laugh track.

The divorce of our parents has shown us reality, in special, relationships, perhaps that’s why marriage wasn’t a priority, if you leave expectations behind, what is given, and love is so much more. My babies are my cats, Simba and Buddy, have shown them to Jan-Four, wanted him to teach me French, because my home language is Dutch, taught myself English and can understand Dutch. Was afraid to smile, he said, smiling is healthy, before he was carried away he made a peace sign, which means, peace, in case you all did not understand that.

Alright, this might be embarrassing, but it’s how it’s all started, this whole Earth has begun to be embarrassing, and should have never been embarrassing in the first place. Oh wait? I’m a woman, so have to go to the toilet often, or perhaps not any time was given to me to exactly let me go to the toilet, anyway, that’s how I was prescribed two pills for my prostate by the doctor, and I’m a woman. And I don’t have a prostate, but fallopian tubes. Why have I never heard of this word in English? My doctor had never seen that issue with woman before, so that’s how the whole medicine business started. Does anyone watch the weather? Yes, it’s warm, climate change. Doctors have to take a Hippocratic Oath, do not harm, right? Physicians.

Somehow I landed on a Report on Food Products of 1970 from the Connecticut Experiment Station 1970, now, I shall take my sleeping medication.